The journey of IVF can be a roller coaster one and Brad and I have been on it for quite some time now. We’ve been through the ups and downs, the highs and lows of the cycle, the medications and the waiting game. We find ourselves in a very familiar cycle again – waiting for the next period to arrive, hoping the meds have worked, and feeling the anticipation of finding out what changes need to be made for the next cycle. With each IVF cycle comes new hopes, new dreams and new opportunities to make our dream of having a baby come true. 

So, as we head to our fertility specialist for the results of this cycle, we are filled with hope and excitement for what the future might bring.

But of course, hold up the plan is changing.

We sat down for our meeting with our amazing doctor, gosh it’s such a game changer to have a wonderful patient and caring doctor. I was expecting him to say that the cyst that I had was gone but as normal with the life of infertility, nothing is as expected.

But I had been right which of course made me feel a little bit better. The cyst was my endometrioma (Eddie). The problem with having Eddie is that it can affect the quality of my eggs, and also cause issues getting pregnant, so we want him out. But of course, it’s not a straightforward answer of “let’s get him out.” There are some major risks with taking Eddie out, and I could lose my ovary.

While we are going down this process, I should get my endo dealt with, but of course, there are risks with that as well. We discussed the risks and the benefits and ultimately came to the conclusion that the risks are worth taking. We can’t guarantee that I won’t lose my ovary, and we have to be prepared for that, but it’s the only hope we have for getting pregnant and for me to get the care I need.

When I was first diagnosed with Stage IV endometriosis, I was shocked. Not only was it spread throughout my body, attaching my ovary to my uterus and in my Pouch of Douglas, but it posed a huge risk when I had surgery. If the doctor was too aggressive with removing it, I could end up with damage to my organs, or even worse, a poop bag for months. 

My doctor suggested that I try a treatment called Zoladex, which would shrink the endometriosis and hopefully make the surgery less invasive. But, of course, there were big risks involved with this. My biggest fear was that I could end up in full menopause, and my cycle might not ever return. 

I was faced with a difficult decision. Do I take the risk of Zoladex, and possibly end up in full menopause, or have surgery and risk permanent organ damage? After much deliberation, we decided to try a round of IVF first, in hopes I could freeze some embryos so that if I did go into full menopause I would have a backup. This wasn’t an easy decision to make. After all, I was only in my 30s, and the thought of going through menopause prematurely was a terrifying one. But I had to weigh the risks and benefits, and ultimately, I decided to go through with the IVF.  (Disclaimer: this is NOT medical terminology or advice, if you are looking for advice on this treatment seek an actual doctor, not a mum blogger sharing her story)

So again we wait for my period, to start a cycle to freeze my eggs before I would go into menopause for the following 3 months.